What am I Doing With my Life?
by FantasiaCalcas
Summary: Alfred has began attending a private school, failing already a few weeks in. He can't stop dreaming about the boy with the green eyes. AU USUKUS Alfred's POV
1. Opening

Do you ever just sit there and ask yourself, 'What am I doing with my life? What is the point to all this bullshit? Who am I put here on this earth to please anyway?' Sitting here in this stuffy, overheated classroom, I found myself wondering these things.

"Mr. Jones!" A shrill voice snapped at me.

I turn my head towards my English teacher.

"Yeah?" I answered nonchalantly.

"What is it outside that you find so interesting?" She asked with a nasty scowl on her face.

I must have been spacing out while looking out the window again. I have to stop doing that.

"…nothing." I answered, looking back at the board. The teacher scoffed, probably expecting an apology. I didn't give her one though, so she proceeded to talk about the lesson and I pretended to actually give a shit.

I guess this is the part where I introduce myself. Let's see… My name is Alfred F. Jones. I'll leave it to your imagination what that "F" stands for. I am a freshman who goes to a private school. I don't go to a private school because I'm smart. I go because my parents wanted me to so badly that they spent a fortune on it. They want me to be something really successful, like a doctor or a scientist or a politician. I already know I'm going to be none of those things. More likely, I'll continue to fail this school until they kick me out and I'll be forced to get a really lame job instead. After that, my parents will probably disown me or something for being such a disappointment. Story of my life.

"Remember that it's due on Thursday!" The teacher announced to the class, pulling me from my thoughts.

…Wait, what was due on Thursday? Oh well, I'll just get it from a friend…I'm tired as hell.

I flinched as I heard the bell ring loudly. I quickly packed up all my things and headed to the dorms. If there was anything that could keep a person's spirit down, it was being away from home this long, stuck in this terrible school. However, I could always look forward to returning to my dorm at the end of the day and having it all to myself.

I remember how at the beginning of the year, a few weeks ago, I had to share with a senior named Gilbert. I'm pretty sure he got suspended for bringing drugs to school or something though. I didn't know when he'd be back, but in the meantime I was happy. The first few days I knew him, I got the impression that he was sort of a dick anyway.

When I got to the dorms, I found my room and unlocked it sluggishly. Once inside, I kicked off my converse, unzipped my jacket, flopped onto my bed and slept without even pulling the covers over myself. Who cared if it was 4:00 PM? I needed my sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Why were there so many dying people? Why were they all dying in different ways? There were some sitting helplessly without limbs and some with terrible wounds. Everyone was emaciated, and pale and sickly. They were sweating and sobbing and just…<em>

_A mother sat, shoved closely to the dirt wall and held her baby, weeping. Rusty lanterns hung from the unstable ceiling, offering dim light. Would it cave in soon? It looked like it with all the dust and dirt falling from it, bit by bit. _

_I walked further through the tunnel, scrunching up my nose to the foul scent of death and rotten flesh. Moaning noises of agony filled the area. Who was this young boy sitting in a mine cart? He had some of the greenest eyes I'd ever seen, but they looked so sad and broken and empty. Was that a light at the end? Yes, there was a blue light to the end of the tunnel. A cold breeze seeped through the large space and icicles hung from it. There was an icy cavern ahead. I headed towards it._

_Is the boy talking to me? "Don't go out there!" Sounded faded and already lost. It was too late. I walked out, and behind me, the tunnel full of sickly people blew into smithereens. The sounds of panic filled my ears, but left just as soon as they came. The people could not hurt. They could not cry. Not anymore…_

* * *

><p>I woke up in cold sweat, with a disgusting feeling inside me. God, how long did I sleep? I looked towards my digital clock, but I couldn't make out the blurry, red numbers. I narrowed my eyes to focus on them, but only ended up hurting myself. My eyesight really is terrible.<p>

Instead, I reached into my jeans and pulled out my phone, checking the time. It was 9:30… I've slept for a whole five hours. I've basically fucked up my whole sleep schedule, not to mention I didn't do my homework. Three weeks into school and I'm already completely failing.

Deciding that I didn't like the idea of lying there in my gross, sweaty clothes any longer, I rolled off of my bed and onto the floor and pulled myself up shakily. God, I had that horrible nap taste in my mouth. I also had that weird feeling in my face. I don't even know how to explain it, other than my mouth felt literally sore both inside and out.

Making my way to the bathroom, I reached into the shower and pulled the handle to turn it on. I made sure the water wasn't too warm, or I might fall asleep while bathing. It may sound ridiculous, but it's happened to me before. I've always had so much energy, but lately I just haven't been feeling it. I've been so tired and I don't know why.

I put my hand under the shower head and turned the handle to get just the right temperature. After testing it, I stripped out of my dirty clothes and stepped in slowly, letting the cool water pour over my face. God that felt nice…I sighed and ran my fingers through my dark blonde hair, letting my mind wander in the process.

Why did I feel so empty and sad when I woke up? Did I have a dream? I dug through my mind, trying to recover anything, but it was very foggy. I only remembered a few things. I remembered sick people, and a tunnel and a blue light. Most of all though, I remembered green eyes. I felt like it should mean something, but I figured it was just my subconscious deciding to mess with me.

Noticing the water becoming cold, I sighed and pulled the handle, shutting it off. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I took a very long time to dry myself off, because I just couldn't stop thinking. The dream became clearer by the minute. Green eyes…green eyes… Had I seen those before? Or maybe was I going to see them? Maybe it was just one of those dreams where you remember something that never even happened. Yeah…that had to be it.

After drying off, I tossed the towel onto the counter and stumbled out of the bathroom without getting dressed. I fell back onto my bed, pulling the covers over myself and stared at the blank ceiling. I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, but I tried anyway. Those green eyes…where were they from?


	2. Chapter 2

I groaned at the sound of my phone's alarm going off. I reached out a limp arm and pressed the button on the side to shut it off before dropping it back on the nightstand. It was time to wake up, but to me, it felt like it was time to sleep again. I didn't like the thought of having to stay up the whole day and into the night, but I needed to fix my sleeping schedule before it got any worse. I have to make coffee before school or there is no way I'm going to stay awake. Absolutely no way.

I briefly considered staying in my dorm the whole day just to sleep. It sounded like such a pleasant idea. I could just call in sick, and-

"Alfred! Get out of bed!" A voice shouted (Or at least attempted to) from the hallway.

God damn it…Mattie knows I'm still in bed…How the hell can he know? How does he just know these things?

"I don't think I should, Mattie. I feel sick." I croaked in a miserable voice. God, I was such an amazing actor. He would so believe me.

"Bullshit, Alfred. You're not sick, you're lying. Now get out of bed."

What the fuck? How did he know I was lying? It's always worked on everyone else… I decided to continue the act. Maybe if I was persistent enough, it'd work.

"No, for real. I'm sick as hell. I suggest you stay away from me."

"Alfred, I know you better than that. Stop being lazy and come open this door."

I sighed in defeat and stumbled out of bed. "Alright, one sec." I told him as I quickly pulled some boxers on. I headed over to the door and unlocked it, letting him in. I noticed he was dressed and showered already. Pshhh, well then…

"How long have you been up?" I asked, stepping aside and letting him walk in.

"Two hours earlier than your lazy ass." He replied with humor in his voice.

I couldn't help but laugh. He could be such a smart ass at times, but I loved him. He's been my best friend for several years now after I met him in Middle school. It was his parents who decided to send him to this private school first, and where my parents got the idea from. That's one other benefit to this school… Mattie is in it.

He'd always been a really understanding sort of person, and he's one of the only people who is able to deal with my bullshit. It's a wonder how two people who are so different can connect like we do. Many often mistake us for brothers even, mostly because at first glance we're similar looking.

I headed over to the coffee pot and added the coffee ground and water. I proceeded to turn it on and listen to the familiar sound it made. Oh, how crappy and old it was. I really needed a new one. Maybe I could save up for it or something.

I turned to look towards Mattie. He had a skeptical face.

"Alfred, you're seriously making yourself coffee? You only have like 6 minutes. Go get dressed."

I scoffed at him. "It'll only take a couple minutes to make. Besides, I really need it today."

"_Now_, Alfred." He said, with his serious face. Mattie was pretty scary when he had his serious face, so I decided to comply.

"Okay, okay, jeez." I huffed, heading over to my dresser. I reached in and pulled out a T-shirt, jeans and socks from the disorganized drawer and basically threw them on myself in a matter of seconds. I imagine that I looked pretty disheveled. I headed back to the small counter with the coffee pot and continued to wait. Things got sort of quiet and awkward, so I decided to start a conversation.

"Sooo…how's your room mate so far?" I asked him.

"Oh, Kiku? He's alright. He doesn't really talk much, so I don't know him that well…"

"Isn't he from Japan or something?"

Mattie nodded. "I'm pretty sure a lot of his family goes here too. So…do you know when your room mate will come back?"

"I hope he never does. I like having this whole place to myself."

Mattie laughed. "Alfred, you do know that even if he never comes back, you'll still get a new room mate, right?"

I gave him a baffled look. "…Wait what?"

"There are a lot of people who want into this school. If a spot is open, it'll get taken."

I simply replied with "Oh…okay." Well that sucks. What if I get a new room mate and he's a huge asshole? I guess that's just part of life, but it didn't mean I had to look forward to it. Aside from that, I couldn't imagine why anyone would actually _want_ into this school.

I was startled out of my thoughts when the small light on the coffee pot signaled. I took it out, got myself a mug from the cabinet and poured some in it. I added some sugar, but that was about it.

Mattie made a slightly repulsed face. "How can you drink it almost black like that? Isn't it bitter?"

"Because I'm cool." I replied, and took more sips from the mug, careful not to burn my lips on it. In all honesty, it was very bitter. But it was my fuel, so I didn't necessarily mind it.

Mattie rolled his eyes, but kept a smile. "Whatever. We have like 2 minutes left, so I suggest you finish that up or I'm leaving without you."

"Aw, you're so mean." I mumbled. "Fine then, just give me a minute."

I sipped down about half of the cup, and then went to get my jacket and shoes on.

The rest of my day after that was how it always was. Boring as hell. I went to my classes, half assed all of my work, and dozed off a few times. As I headed back to my dorm at the end of the day, I was convinced I could sleep an eternity.

I took out my keys, unlocked the door and fell onto my bed just like yesterday, the day before that and so on. Except for this time I couldn't fall asleep, or rather; I knew I _shouldn't_.

I unzipped my backpack and took out my homework to keep me occupied and awake. It didn't work so well. It never does…but I was still able to last until 7:00 PM.

I took a shower and went to bed, falling asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

><p><em>I noticed how cold it was first. It feels so real, and looks so real. Ice and snow is all around me. Where does it end and where does it begin? I walk for a while, listening to the peaceful crunching noise of it beneath my feet. Each step created a small little imprint in the snow that faded away only seconds after it was made. It was as if I'd never even been there to mess it up.<em>

_I was startled to hear a whining sort of noise. It was like a long, drawn out bellow. It scared me, and made me feel upset for some unexplainable reason. I turned around to see where it may have come from, and felt the snow began to melt underneath my feet, creating an endless black hole. It was even colder down there. I started to slip beneath the surface, but an icy and bony hand caught mine tightly._

"_I told you not to go out here, didn't I?" the owner of the hand muttered. It was so quiet that I almost didn't hear it. The person smiled. It was so small I almost didn't see it. One thing was certain though…Green eyes. Green eyes…I saw those._

* * *

><p>I woke up slowly, reaching a loose hand over to rub my eyes. My eyes…why did..?<p>

'Never mind.' I thought, yawning. I still felt tired, but definitely not as tired as last night. Was it morning? I glanced out to window to see it was still dark, but there was some light rising up.

It was probably very early. I picked up my phone to check the time. 4:47…I still had about 4 to 5 more hours of sleep and I was damn well going to use those hours.

I grabbed a pillow from the other side of my bed, stuffing my face into it.

* * *

><p><strong>Lol this is hella short. Atleast it's longer than the last one. My goal is to make them a little longer each time.<br>I would be ALL over this story if school wasn't such a cunt, but bleh D; That's life.  
>I totally forgot to add author's comments at the end of the first chapter. And holy hell are my author's comments always long. If anyone actually decides to read this crappy fic, prepare for VERY long and pointless author's comments.<strong>

**Lol so about this chapter...I thought about adding real Arthur in it but I didn't want to make it seem like I was rushing. I'm pretty much just making up this story as I go along so I'm trying to be careful with it. It's my first multiple chapter fic...**

**Anyway...I added Mattie :I He's Alfred's friend and not brother because...um  
>Because I didn't mention him sooner and...I sort of forgot about him in the first chapter.<br>I am so sorry, Canada :U Please forgive me. I won't ever forget you again. Ima add you in like every chapter atleast once. Don't worry!**

**Pshhh. Okay, I'm done. I need sleep now :) Please tell me if there are any mistakes in this. I've gone over it a few times, but I have a bad habit of missing them. So yeah.**

**Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be up soon. **


	3. Chapter 3

I stirred in a state of half-asleep and half-awake as the irritating alarm on my cell phone went off. It beeped and vibrated over and over while I simply lay down with my face still stuffed into the soft pillow. I swear the alarm even started saying things to me.

_Get up, get up, get up._

"No…" I replied weakly.

_Get up, get up, get up, Alfred._

"Oh my god…no."

_You're going to be late, Alfred._

"I don't care. Shut up."

_Alfred, Alfred, Alfred, Alfred-_

I reached out, clutching the cell phone from the nightstand and tossing it onto the carpet roughly. It didn't stop.

_Alfred, Alfred, Alfred, Alfred!_

God damn it. I give up.

I groaned and finally rolled off the bed, picked up my phone and turned off the alarm. I sat on the floor lazily for a couple minutes as I collected my thoughts. Did I have a dream last night? Or was it the night before? I can't remember. Is today Friday or Thursday? I hoped it was Friday.

I shrugged and slowly arose from the floor, stretching my tense muscles and giving a long, drawn out yawn. I wandered my way into the small bathroom to brush my teeth and get dressed.

Once I finished, I reluctantly looked up into the mirror for longer than I usually do. I really took a good look at myself for once. I noticed that dark circles had formed under my eyes, which were barren of their usual bright blue color. My skin had gotten significantly paler, and my hair was unkempt and tangled. I didn't look healthy at all…I looked like a weary child who wasn't quite ready for the strain of adulthood. I guess that's exactly what I was.

Recalling where I was and what I was supposed to be doing, I quickly stepped out of the bathroom and began getting my things together for school.

* * *

><p>I walked maybe halfway to my first period class until I saw a couple freshman girls all giggling and blushing. I also noticed a boy I'd never seen in the school before. From the distance, I could see that he had messy blonde hair, light colored skin, and green eyes.<p>

Like…_Hella_ green. Almost too green to be real. I couldn't help but find them familiar, yet I had trouble connecting them to anything specific. I slowed my pace to a stop and listened to what the girls were saying to him.

"Oh my god, are you from Britain?" One asked, excitedly.

The boy looked uncomfortable but smiled slightly as if he didn't want to be rude. "Yes, I'm from England." He corrected.

"Awesome! I love your accent!" The other girl said with just as much enthusiasm.

"Uh…Thank you." He replied, still looking a bit uneasy.

"So what did you need again?" The first girl asked him.

"I was wondering if you could tell me where the 400 hall is?"

"Oh! Go that way and then turn left once you come to the last door and the 400 hall is the second door after that." She tried to explain, pointing in what appeared to be all sorts of directions.

The boy looked confused and overwhelmed, but nodded anyway. "…Alright, thanks." He said,

"No problem!"

The two girls glanced at each other with bright smiles on their faces. They practically squealed once the boy was out of earshot.

"Did you hear him talk?"

"Oh my god, yes! That was amazing!"

"Did you hear how he said 'Thank you'?"

"Yes! I want hear him say more words!"

"I know, right? We should ask him to!"

I watched as the two girls talked eagerly about the boy. I had trouble understanding the obsession they had with him. What was so special about his stupid accent anyway? Maybe it was just a thing that only women get worked up over.

I winced as the bell rang loudly, (Of course I happen to be standing right next to it.) and watched as the girls scrambled to get to their class in time. After glancing back in the boy's general direction once more, I began heading to my own.

* * *

><p><em>I observed all the faceless people going about their daily routine in a more sluggish pace then I was sure they were supposed to. I continued striding at a faster speed than any of them. Faceless, faceless, where were the faces anyway? Maybe I just didn't care enough to see their faces. Maybe they were just people and they didn't even matter. Maybe nothing matters?<em>

_I looked down at my shoes as they took step by step. The street below them looked so old and decayed, especially in the sunlight._

"_Hey." A voice behind me said quietly. I wasn't even sure if it was really there at all, so I chose to ignore it._

"_Hey! Alfred!" It said loudly this time._

_I turned around hesitantly and saw a face. The voice came from someone who actually had a face. Well…that made sense. You need a face to talk, right? Or at least a mouth._

"_Get up." The face frowned, narrowing it's green eyes. Wait…Narrowing **his** green eyes._

"_Get up!" I felt something shake me, and the world around me dissolved and faded in a matter of seconds._

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" I mumbled as I began to wake up. The face that was in front of me was slowly replaced by Mattie's. I slowly rubbed my eyes and groaned. Was I still in school?

"The teacher almost caught you, Al." Mattie said in a scolding voice.  
>Oh…so I <em>was<em> still in school. I glanced at the clock. It read "2:40" so I figured out it was 6th period. My memory began to return to me as the room I was in became more clear.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"I don't know, like 15 minutes. Look, Alfred…you can sleep all you want once you get to your dorm, but you have to stop falling asleep in class. You know how strict they are here."

"I know." I muttered, turning my attention back towards the board to see what I'd missed.

Damn… I missed a lot of work. Mattie's right, I really need to control myself better. I sighed and turned back towards him with a pitiful look on my face. "Hey…Mattie?" I began. I made the best puppy dog face I could, and damn was I good at making that face. He rolled his eyes in response, already knowing exactly what I'd ask of him.

"Yes, you can copy my notes." He said.

I grinned. "You know I love you, right?"

* * *

><p>I weakly unlocked the door to my room and swung it open, dropping my heavy school bag on the floor. Thank god for Friday…<p>

I stepped into the main area of the dorm and fell limply onto my bed without removing my jacket or shoes. I felt almost boneless against the soft covers.

I flinched at the sound of a page being turned. I turned attention across the room where I saw someone sitting on the other bed reading a book contently. I didn't see their face at first, as it was hidden behind the cover. My first thought was that gilbert was back.

"Hey." I said, not really knowing what else to do.

"What?" the person asked, averting his gaze from the book.

I saw it was the same boy from earlier that the two girls had been talking to…in my room. What the hell was he doing in my room? I decided to ask him exactly that.

"What the hell are you doing in my room?"

He furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "What does it look like?" He replied, gesturing to his book.

"Where's Gilbert?"

"Who?"

"Gilbert. He's my room mate."

He seemed to think about what I had said for a moment before shrugging.

"Ah…Well…I suppose I'm your new room mate now."

"The fuck? You can't just waltz into my room." I told him, irritably. Who did he think he was? How did he even-

"Yes I can. They gave me a key, so it's my room too, now." He smirked triumphantly.

Ah...so he really was my new room mate. Does that mean Gilbert was expelled? It's not that I really cared if he returned or not, I just didn't think they would do much more than suspend him for a while.

"Well…don't you have anything better to do than stay here and read?" I asked the other.

"Don't you have anything better to do than stay here and sleep?"

I didn't know how to respond at first. Partly because I really didn't have anything better to do.

"No." I said simply.

"Then be quiet and let me read." He said.

I decided that I didn't like this new boy at all. I decided to speak again, just to spite him.

"What's your name?" I asked.

He exhaled in annoyance, pulling the book away from his face once more.

"Arthur. Arthur Kirkland."

* * *

><p><strong>Time for long and boring author's comments. :DDD<strong>

**First of all, thank you all so much for the reviews! Even if it's not a lot yet, they make me super happy. Like, you have no idea C: I love them and even just getting one can make my whole day.**

**Second of all… Well that was a horrible way to end the third chapter. This was a bit rushed, so please forgive me for any mistakes. If you catch any, please tell me! **

**Anyway, this chapter is also very short, but hopefully longer than the last two. I'm too lazy to check but…yeah. I just hope it's longer. I wrote it the first time and made it super short, then I was like "Naw." And made it a bit longer. I hope it's reasonable xD I've like…hardly written Arthur at all, but I can already tell I'm going to make him hella OOC. I apologize for that.**

**So, that's about all I have to say for now :) Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be up soon.  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

I decided that I didn't like this new boy at all. I decided to speak again, just to spite him.

"What's your name?" I asked.

He exhaled in annoyance, pulling the book away from his face once more.

"Arthur. Arthur Kirkland."

God, that name suited this asshole so perfectly it almost hurt. I didn't speak for a moment and he turned his attention back to his thick book, turning yet another page. Just when he probably thought I was done speaking and would let him read in peace…

"My name is Alfred F Jones." I told him.

"Interesting." He replied, in tone that said he really wasn't interested at all.

I waited for him to say something more. He didn't, and the silence in the room seemed to stretch out and suffocate me. I never did well with silence so I laid back down and opened my cell phone, pretending to text someone or do something of mild importance.

After a minute or two, I got bored with that and spoke again.

"Sooo…did you like, just move to this school or…?"

He sighed for the umpteenth time, placing the book in his lap.

"Look...I'm not hoping to be friends with you if that's what you're thinking. You can stop trying to socialize with me because we will be nothing more than roommates as far as I'm concerned."

What the hell? I was only trying to make conversation with this dick. I proceeded to lean up on my elbows on the bed and scoff at him.

"Don't flatter yourself, man. I'd never wanna be friends with you anyways. I'm only making conversation because it's awkward with you just sitting there and reading."

"Oh, my apologies. Am I interfering with your nap time or something?" He replied, a mocking sort of smile tugging at his lips.

"As a matter of fact, you are. Can't you just go read somewhere else?"

"No, I think I like reading right here on this bed." He said in what was probably the most asshole-ish way ever possible.

"Now you're only doing it to annoy me." I pointed out.

"Well if it bothers you _that_ much, I can just go read outside." He said.

My eyes momentarily lit up. "Wait, for real?" I asked.

"No." He said, crushing me.

I was about to promptly get up and leave to just save myself the trouble, until someone knocked on the door loudly. It sounded too loud to be Mattie. I gave a quick glance towards the other boy who didn't seem to care about anything other than his stupid book. I hesitantly got up and unlocked the door.

"Who is it?" I asked before it seemed to swing open on it's own and a boy with shoulder length blonde hair, who was about my same height pushed past me to get into the room as if I wasn't even there.

"Arthur!" He called with a heavily accented voice.

Arthur placed his book on his bedside table irritably. "What is it, Francis? Can no one let me read?"

I shuffled over to sit back on my bed, frowning at the boy who had entered the room without permission. He paid me no mind.

"Arthur, why didn't you tell me this was your room? It took me forever to find it." The boy whined. I still struggled to place his accent. It definitely wasn't English, but it still sounded European. Maybe it was French…

"Because I didn't want you to find me." Arthur replied crossly.

"Why are you so hateful, Mon Ami?"  
>Oh god…he <em>was<em> French.

I opted to tell him to 'get the fuck out of my dorm' in only the nicest of ways, if that was even possible. I sat patiently (which is difficult thing for me to do) and listened to Arthur and him argue as I debated how to say it.

"Uh… no offense, but-"

"Oh! Arthur, is this boy your roommate?" He interrupted, turning towards me. I found it funny how he'd just noticed me when I was the one to open the door for him and let him inside _my_ dorm. Douche.

"Yes. His name is… Alfred." Arthur mumbled.

I glimpsed at the French boy uneasily. He looked up and down, studying me as if I were produce he had to debate was fresh enough to buy. It made me feel uncomfortable. With one last look of judgment, he'd apparently deemed me rotten produce.

"Ah…Bonjour, Alfred. My name is Francis Bonnefoy." He held out his hand and introduced himself almost as if he was slightly repulsed by my presence.

"Uh, yeah. Hi." I replied curtly without shaking his hand.  
>When was he going to leave? (And hopefully he'll take my new roommate with him when he does leave.) I honestly just wanted to be alone at the moment.<p>

He turned his attention back to Arthur and his tone became almost flirtatious.

"Arthur, let's get out of here and go do something together."

"I'm reading." Arthur replied crossly.

"But Arthur, you shouldn't shut yourself in like this! You need to socialize more! I feel like doing something."

"Why don't you go do something with your little friend Antonio then?"

"Arthur, you know I'd much rather be with you. Are you jealous?"

Arthur let out a sound of disgust. "Fuck no, Francis. Will you just leave?"

With feigned sorrow, the French boy moped his way out of the room, but not before turning back and saying, "Come see me later, Mon Ami." and shutting the door behind him.

"Don't count on it." Arthur muttered more to himself than Francis, marking his place and then closing his large book. He crossed his legs and turned his green eyes to me, as if he was daring me to say something.

"Uhh…" I began, not knowing how to react to what had just happened.

I expected him to throw a sarcastic remark, but he simply said, "I apologize for that Frog. I'll make sure he doesn't get back in here."

The way he spoke about the French boy as if he were a pest almost made me laugh, but I held back.

"Is he…your friend, or…?" I trailed off.

Arthur looked as if he had to think about the question for a while.

"I suppose. Although I'm not sure why I even put up with him at this rate."

I briefly debated whether or not I should ask what I wanted to ask. I wasn't sure if the boy would get mad at me or not…but why should I even care if he gets mad at me? I don't like him anyway, yet I couldn't find the words escaping my tongue.

"Is he-"

"No." Arthur interrupted me abruptly. "He is not a homosexual. He is a bisexual pervert."

How he knew what question I'd been wanting to ask was beyond me. I figured he'd been asked it many times before. Now I almost felt like a dick…

"Why were you wondering?" He asked.

"I'm- I'm a homophobe or anything!" I held up my hands in defense. "I was just curious… is all."

He smirked in an almost predatory way. "Hmm…That's good that you're not homophobic." He said while he got up from the bed beside mine and made his way toward the door.

I raised my eyebrows in confusion but said nothing.

"Well…" He began, changing the subject. "I was about to leave anyway."  
>The smirk never left his face as he slipped out the door and quietly closed it behind him.<p>

I sighed and wrapped the comforter of my bed around me. I wasn't really sure what to do with myself because for some reason, I wasn't exactly tired anymore. Still, about half an hour later, I found myself once again drifting into light sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>JEEEZ. I'm really sorry it took so long and all I uploaded was this incredibly short BS chapter xD Well...on the bright side, Francis was introduced? :D And yes, I'm going to make him a huge jerk in this story but at the end of the day, he's going to be a good person and a good friend, so no need to worry! C: <strong>

** Anyways, I once again apologize for complete OOCness and I apologize for this being to late. School is such a bitch because it's the end of the quarter and there are soooo many tests DX I'll try to make the next one come out a little faster! I swear I will not abandon this story no matter how terrible it is and/or will become! Last thing: If anyone catches any mistakes in this, please tell me! ****Okay, I'll STFU now.**

**Thanks for the reviews! They make my day :) They really do.**


	5. Chapter 5

The following week went by at a painfully slow pace. My new roommate and I had barley spoken at all since his friend barged in the other day, just like he wanted it. Every day after classes had ended, I would unlock the door to my room to find him already there just reading a book or doing homework. As stupid as it sounds, the silence became more and more difficult for me and I found myself not taking any more naps directly after school. I hadn't had a dream since my very last one.

I would usually stop by Mattie's room instead and stay until it was late at night. I'd then walk back to my dorm to sleep (It's against the rules to spend the night in someone else's dorm; just one of the many half assed rules here.) Although losing the sleep had at first been incredibly draining, I now felt more awake and more alive than before. I was upset, but then again I kind of wasn't.

It was about 2:00 AM and I was hanging out in Mattie's dorm doing my English homework and actually doing a decent job for once, because there was really just nothing left I felt inclined to do. I sat sprawled out on the small couch, listening to the falling rain outside and thought about how much I missed home. God, that sounded so fucking emo, I can't even… I'm actually ashamed of myself right now.

But yes, _home_. I missed my _home_ terribly. I didn't miss everything about home though. I missed Mom and Dad but I didn't miss the way they were now with Mom's constant depression and Dad's cruelty towards her, saying horrible things when he thought I was out of hearing range and occasionally getting violent. Sometimes I worried that he hurt her when I was out of the house and that she didn't tell me because she didn't want to worry me. Now that I think about it…I'm incredibly worried. Back when I was still at home, if I entered the room while the two of them fought, they would drop everything and feign happiness. Pretend that everything is okay even though it's not. I know it's not. Everything is _not_ okay and it never will be no matter how much I want it to be.

In retrospect it didn't seem like much. Most people's parents fought. Most people's parents used them as an excuse to fight. It _shouldn't_ bother me. It still did an awful lot.

I scratched at the fabric of the cushion with my finger and listened to the rhythm of small drops pelting the window. I hated rain. Why couldn't it be sunny always and rain like…once a week? Just to keep plants healthy? That seemed to make a lot more sense to me. I hated the rain and the cold and I hated this state. I _hate_ Washington. It seems that the weather here actually drains the life out of everyone. It's warm for a while in the summer and then the rest of the 9 months is constant showers. It seems kind of ridiculous to not be used to it all after 3 years now, but I'm just not.

But I guess it doesn't matter what I hate though, because it's not going to change anything. I need sleep. I don't know if Mattie and his roommate are sleeping so I should just get my stuff and-

"Alfred?" A soft voice says from behind me.

Startled out of my thoughts, I turn around to see Mattie. I know he's going to ask me to leave because it's getting late. I decided to save him the trouble because I was planning on leaving soon anyway.

"It's cool, Mattie. I'm on my way." I mumbled as I got up from the couch.

He looked like he wanted to say something else but didn't know quite the words to use. He settled on a small nod and made his way to bed.

"See you in the morning then, Al."

"Mmhm. G'night."

I gathered anything I'd taken out of my backpack and stuffed it back in without much care. I pulled on my converse (without tying the laces), grabbed my jacket and slipped out the door to make the short and uneventful journey back to my own dorm. Or more like…Arthur's dorm considering the limited amount of time I'd been spending there.

I gradually passed the other doors in the hall as I tried to process every little thought in my head but finally reached a halt at the second to last one. I stood and eyed the shiny silver numbers on the hardwood for a while. Dorm 229.

Should I knock? I mean…I guess that'd be the polite thing to do, but then again it was _my_ dorm. I debated it for another minute before shrugging. Arthur would probably be asleep by now anyways, wouldn't he? Wouldn't want to wake him up and have him throw a bitch fit or something.

But as I took out my key to unlock the door, the round handle seemed to turn by itself before I could even finish. I retracted my hand from it quickly. When the door creaked open, lo and behold, there was Arthur himself, flinching when he saw me.

Then it was quiet. Incredibly quiet and awkward and my god, it felt like it'd been an hour before I finally decided to speak up.

"Where are you going so late?" I asked. I couldn't help but grin when I saw the look on his face. He furrowed his bushy brows and scoffed at me.

"That's hardly any of your business."

"So does that mean that it's just slightly my business?" I countered, still grinning.

"No. It's absolutely _none_ of your business, so move." He spat indignantly, standing up just a little bit straighter. He had to tilt his chin to look me in the eyes and the few inches of height difference almost made me laugh. I wasn't all too sure why, but I didn't want to let the whole thing go just yet.

"Are you going on…a walk maybe?"

"I told you, it's not your business!" He raised his voice.

"Whoa…no need to completely flip shit, man. I was only curious." I held my hands up as a peace gesture, and yet, I was laughing my ass off as the same time.

He grumbled under his breath, not tearing his eyes from mine even once. Even with his height in comparison to mine, he was by no means weak looking and his green eyes had started to intimidate me…just a bit. Not that I'd ever admit it. I knew he was about to say something more, so I stood patiently in front of him and waited. And then it came.

"Why do you even care?"  
>I didn't know how to reply to that. Why did I even care? Luckily, I didn't have to make a retort because he then pushed past me with a huff, making his way down the dimly lit hallway. It wasn't my business, he was right, but I really had to wonder where he was off to…I dismissed the idea, deciding I really <em>shouldn't<em> care. He's just my roommate. I headed into the dorm and off to bed.

I woke up not startled, but empty. I felt so empty that I wanted to cry but I was even too empty for doing that. So I stared up, even though I couldn't see anything in the dark. I hate the dark. So, so much.

It was hard trying to remember the dream. It was one of those though, that made me feel absolutely horrible. Whatever was in it probably wasn't even that bad. It's the atmosphere of the whole thing that terrifies me. I can't help getting too lost in my mind when I sleep because it's something I've always done.

I thought back to when I was much younger and I had the strangest, funniest dreams almost every night. Not nightmares, just dreams. I was usually pretty excited about sharing them with my parents. Mom would get up and make breakfast quickly, before Dad went to work, and I would always have one to share.

"I had a dream last night, Mama!" I would say, proud of myself.

She would laugh and continue rummaging through the cupboards, not ever turning around. "Oh, I know you did, Alfie."

"How'd you know?" I would ask, genuinely puzzled.

"I'm your mother. I know everything."

And she did. She did know everything. I didn't think about how often I had dreams so I would always be surprised by her lack of surprise.

There were times when I had bad nightmares and I would wake up crying hysterically. I wasn't trying to be a brat or anything, I was just scared. Mom would come into the room and attempt to calm me down. She'd ask what the dream was about and I never told her, as if even speaking of it would yank it out of my head and into reality.

They usually shocked me so much; those dreams did, that I'd crawl in with her and Dad. Of course when I was 3 it was fine. When I got to be around 5 they were concerned. The nightmares had gotten far worse and far more vivid, so they took me to a doctor to see if I had any psychological issues.

The doctor claimed that I didn't. He told my parents that I simply had an "over active imagination" and that it would fade in time. For the most part it did, but not at first. I still climbed into bed next to my parents until Dad got completely fed up with it wouldn't allow me to anymore. He fought with my mom about it a lot, saying that, "Coddling the damn boy will only make him more of a sissy." or something like that. They argued and argued. It sucks to know it was my fault they grew apart. I came in between them without even meaning to.

Anyway, I can't remember exactly when those dreams went away, but thank God they did. I still get bad nightmares, just not nearly as often and they aren't as vivid.

It's weird though. It's weird to remember things that have happened to you so far back because if you think over the memories too much, you have to wonder if any of it really happened.

I yawned, untangling myself from the sheets of my bed, and being the klutz I am, I managed to roll off the side of the bed with a thud.

I groaned and heaved myself off of the floor (Which was a great feat on its own) but gravity was not on my side this morning, resulting in me stumbling tiredly into the bedside table and knocking over a very heavy table lamp as well as a glass of water that I didn't remember getting for myself.

The light bulb in the lamp shattered. It was loud to say the least.

It was at that moment I remembered I had a roommate. Because he nearly woke up.

Fuck. Me.

I heard him groan. I panicked as I tried to pick up the shattered light bulb pieces and cover up the fact I had spilled an entire cup of water. Easier said than done.

"Oh shit, shit, shit, shit." I mumbled repeatedly, scooping the glass into my hand which I managed to cut several times in the process. That was the least of my worries until I started bleeding all over the fucking carpet.

"Fuck!" I snapped.

It seemed one thing kept leading to another, getting worse and worse, like some nightmarish domino effect. I hoped to god Arthur didn't wake up-

"What the _bloody hell_ are you doing?" I heard him mutter, making me jump.

Speak of the devil.

I whipped my head around to see the unkempt boy rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Nothing." I answered quickly, holding one hand under the other bleeding hand, feeling the warm substance drip into the palm as I awaited his response. I felt like a child who had been caught doing something bad.

He raised one bushy eyebrow at me and looked straight to my eyes, and then his gaze wandered down to the spilt cup of water, then to the broken glass in my hand. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the mess of blood.

_Then_… He did something I never would have expected.

That son of a bitch started laughing at me. Like full blown guffawing.

"Fucking hell!" He said in between his laughter. "You're a mess! How'd you even- How'd you even- Ahaha! Oh my god!"

He gave up on trying to form a sentence until he got a hold of himself. All the while, I sat next to the mess I had made with a disgruntled look on my face, because I did not find the situation very funny at all.

After what seemed like forever, his laughter died down.

"…I'm sorry…for laughing at you, that is." He apologized.

I hauled myself up with the glass still in my palm, deciding to deal with the rest of the mess after throwing it away.

I made my way over to the sink and washed my hands off, hissing as they stung under the hot water.

I wiped them off quickly and took the same towel over to soak up the water on the floor.

"Your hands are still bleeding." Arthur informed me in an amused voice. "You shouldn't have been so careless while picking up that glass."

What. An. Asshole.

"Oh well." I simply said, patting the towel down onto the carpet, not caring that more of my blood was now on it.

"You should go to the nurse and get that bandaged up."

I scoffed. "It's like 9:00 AM on a Saturday. I'm not going to the nurse just because I have a few cuts on my hand."

"A few cuts that won't stop bleeding."

Aggravated, I wrapped the towel around my hand tightly and flopped back onto my bed.

"Problem solved." I murmured.

"You're absolutely hopeless, Jones. At least put Neosporin on them or something."

"I don't know where Neosporin is. I don't even think I have any."

"Then go to the nurse's office." He said, irritably.

"No."

"Do you want me to drag you there?"

I snorted in amusement. "You wouldn't. You're not strong enough."

He said nothing. I heard him slide off of his bed and onto the floor, taking a few steps towards me. I felt him grasp my arm and with a swift tug, he pulled me off the bed. He really was pretty strong.

"Alright, alright." I groaned, getting to my feet. "I'll go to the fucking nurse's office."

**Ahhh, this story. Shitty as ever.  
>Probably no one even reads this anymore but it's finally updated because as I said, I'm not abandoning it. I mean…it's a bit like a first child. An experiment. It may be crappy but abandoning it…that doesn't seem morally just. So I will try to improve it.<strong>

**Anyway, thank you so much for the reviews! I love them, I really do and I look forward to more. Once again, if anyone catches any spelling or grammar mistakes, please inform me. I only ever write in the very early mornings (12:00 AM to 5:00 AM usually) so my tired eyes tend to miss things. Sorry! ;)**

**ANYWAYS, I'll shut up now. Chapter 6 will hopefully come sooner than later.**


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